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Part One: Paradise Lost and Why Suffering is Inevitable
Feeling good about who you are is essential to a healthy and productive life. When you have a positive self-image, you are happier, and tend to be more creative. You feel more alive and connected to others. It can make all the difference in the world! Yet, by now you have experienced just how fragile your self-image can be if circumstances change in ways that do not support your desired sense of self. In spite of all your efforts over the years, stressful circumstances can trigger negative self-talk and judgments that leave you with little or no self-respect just when you need it the most.
It is easy and all too common to endlessly obsess over why a friend didn’t include you as part of a dinner gathering or spin around in a vortex of self-criticism when a team member at work didn’t like your project or feel profoundly inadequate because you did not follow through on an important goal you set for yourself. On the wrong day, even the slightest look or comment can be hurtful and leave you down on yourself.
Furthermore, the negative self-talk often has a desperate, urgent and compulsive quality. You “have to” know the reasons now why someone passed you over at work for a project, you “can’t rest” until you know why a friend didn’t return your call, or you “won’t let it go” until you figure out why your meeting didn’t work out the way you planned. You are anxious and tense until the answers are found and there is usually a heaviness to the whole matter that easily can slip into depression, irritability, frustration and obsession.
It is time to acknowledge and recognize a fact that becomes self-evident once brought into awareness: anyone who has a self-image by which they define who they are suffers. The enormous amounts of time and energy spent on self-improvement books, retreats, counseling and physical appearance attests to the extent of this type of suffering. The majority of marketing and advertising plays upon different aspects of this fact. The underlying message is that you will feel better about yourself if you buy this product or service. Given that a self-image is an endless project, you will tend to always be looking for the next break through and/or buying another product in hopes of some relief.
Why is suffering inevitable when you have self-image? Based on your past experience, it is probably clear that you cannot fundamentally change or create a new self-image for yourself, only grow out of it. But it is not because you haven’t tried hard enough or because there is something wrong with you. It has to do with the nature of a “self-image”.
First of all, a “self-image” needs to stabilize over time to become an enduring identity. Repeating patterns of behavior and thought while “working” on yourself to change what you don’t like does this. It provides a sense of who you are and a purpose so you can go about the world with an orientation in mind. Who would you be and what would you be doing if you didn’t have a self-image that needs continual maintaining and improving so that you can finally be your ideal image? You are working at cross-purposes without knowing it. This is because the deeper, unconscious need is to keep the unfinished self-image you have. When separated from your essence or Soul consciousness, your self-image is what you identify with and how you know yourself. Inevitably this ends up being frustrating which tends to result in more self-criticism and judgment.
Secondly, at the core of any self-image is a deep sense of inadequacy driven by a persistent fear. There is really no answer to this, only distraction from your disease: busyness, incessant thoughts, seeking, finding, acquiring, struggling, scarcity thinking, guilt and other symptoms of not being at peace with yourself. It’s because a “self-image” was formed in reaction to inadequacy. The origins of “inadequacy” go back to childhood. Most basically, it has to do with the eroding away of Soul consciousness that inevitably occurs in a world where others have not yet remembered their Soul. A perceived loss of Oneness is felt followed by a core sense of inadequacy in reaction to feeling like you were abandoned. A self-image is created to protect against the further threat of abandonment stemming from the most significant separation that has already and ever will occur. The origin of all fear is the deeply held and largely unconscious pain of apparent abandonment from the source of all love. The repressed pain of a felt separation from Divine Love has never been resolved or in most cases, even raised as an issue. You have simply gone about living and engaging in your spiritual pursuits without ever having dealt with what it was like to lose the knowing of Oneness and your essential nature soon after you were born. Yet it is the greatest grief and source of all suffering that you have ever known. It was the “loss of Paradise“. Nobody talks about this. Instead, the reaction to core separation was to get busy with creating a solid self-image that will protect you. It didn’t work. Now there is an overlay of frustration on top of unhealed suffering.
Having and maintaining a positive self-image is not your true answer to feeling abandoned and unworthy of acceptance and love. The sooner this is recognized, the better the chance for real change. A self-image is just that, an image. It is not real nor is it your essence. There is no ground that it can rest on.
Failing at changing your self-image is meant to lead you out of your ego’s separation and back to your Soul’s wholeness. Real change is now possible. Given the failure, you are more willing to let go of your “game plan” and your control of your self-image. The ego part of you will still want to “make yourself” but now there is more space to return to Divine Source to know yourself and to face down the fear of being “made” by something beyond your mind’s idea. It is the path to wholeness that is a return to what is more real than a self-image. This requires letting go of the project called “me” to experience the you that is Oneness. Even working on stopping the “negative self-talk” by learning to love yourself can be an obstruction if the goal is only to have a better self-image.
When blended with the life force of Soul, you can’t dictate a course of change. You are moved in sometimes very unexpected but effortless ways. If you can allow this, you will notice something at hand that is greater than your self-improvement project. Simultaneously, you start to lose interest in your self-image. A “self-image” starts to be seen and appreciated as only a transitional stage in the maturation of consciousness. Like teddy bears or dolls that you were once so attached to for comfort, as you got older, you became more interested in what was more real and truly safe. This took place in a natural “growing out of” versus “thinking” it or “working” it through.
Jeffrey Douglass, MSW, CSW, author of Living From Your Soul, has been a licensed psychotherapist integrating psychology and spirituality for 33 years. Jeffery offers individual and couples counseling (also available by phone), as well as retreats, workplace coaching, and telecourses. To purchase the book, or for further information, please visit our website: www.livingfromyoursoul.com, email us at: jeffrey@livingfromyoursoul.com or call 208-667-8387.
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Are you the one planning to bring in an extra bit of fresh look into your home then you should try with new Decorative Accessories for the Home which may include the beautiful hand painted mirrors or the classy handcrafted furniture or the delicate ceramic products. Along with these you might also be interested in changing the color of a room and its creative decorative accessories and making a new treatment for the windows. Decorative Accessories for the home which is popularly known as home décor is the best way when you are planning for the home renovation. Before picking a new color palette, buying furniture and the right decorative accessories, keep in mind your needs and tastes for the correct mix of home decor. The effective decorating, and right planning and correct positioning of your home decor and decorative accessories would definitely help you achieve spectacular results. Along with these try to mix with the ceramic products which would add delicacy to your home decoration and the right colored Handcrafted Furniture would add an extra bit of taste to your room.
Interior redesigning can help with your available Decorative Accessories for the Home would need a day’s work and its simple to place them. There are number of decorative variations to choose from like the Debbie Travi’s Facelift, Divine Design, Decorating Cents, these are available on most of the popular TV shows, those who watch would be familiar of these makeover styles of living rooms. There are number of decorative accessories which are available online and the best online store for these would be ulalas.com which has a varied mix of Latin American styles which would add an extra bit of extravagance to your home. There Decorative Accessories for the Home carry a unique home design philosophy that transforms your home into a pleasant able place using your existing furnishings and decorative accessories.
Are you ready to remodel your house then try to implement the right mix of home decors which suit your home space. The essential element for house planning is the space planning which is essential with any remodeling project for any home. You should work together to develop a sound plan which will suit and which goes hand in hand with your personality. This will give you an ultimate a comfortable and stylish space.
Adding an extra bit of touch of elegance and ethnicity to your home decor is a matter of individual taste. And Latin America with its vibrant art and cultural heritage is the right place to find the unique home decor items, these are available from many online home decor boutiques, but few of these provide value for your money and give you the right product which would go with your taste and personality. There are many cottage industries in Latin America which produce their own trademark artifacts which are famous for their quality and design, these uniquely collected products can be found at ulalas.com. Far removed from modernity, the artisans of today are modifying the traditional designs to adapt to more contemporary ones. The last thing is that, what better way to decorate your house than with these stupendous objects d’ art? Yes you have a varied collection to choose from the colorful Hand Painted Mirrors to the right decorative accessories for the home and the delicate and master crafted ceramics products which would add an extra bit of exuberance to your home decor.
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Making the home stylish, fashionable and posh is the purpose of interior decoration. Area rugs are quite important in complementing the overall appearance of the home design. With the prevalence of eclectic looks in the current trend of home decors, there are plenty of choices with these varieties of rugs. The tips below might come in handy for your home.
There are many kinds of area rugs available in the market nowadays. Therefore, some factors have to be put into consideration first before starting off. The primary factor is determining the role of the rug. If you wish that the rug defines the furniture grouping or if it should be the focal point, you should consider those first, especially if the rug functions to enhance the warmth, texture and color scheme of the room.
Oriental area rugs have always been popular choices in accenting the interior design. You can select a fine and antique Persian rug, a kilim or dhurrie. If the room has an English country theme, try incorporating a Victorian area rug with some flowery hooks. As for a room fashioned in French country theme, Aubusson is a good choice. If you wish to make things simple for the room, go for a plain sisal rug. For a room influenced by the Old World, Oriental or Aubusson area rugs are effective.
To satisfy your inner minimalist side, you might want to use area rugs that are plain and spare. For floors with a hard surface, use a solid-color sisal or a solid-color chenille. A man-made rug will really work for rooms with high-tech designs. Alternatives included sisal carpets with shaggy styles or flat commercial styles.
Use a hooked rug or a rag rug for rooms fashioned in garden, cottage and American country themes. Another effective example are floor cloths designed with painted canvas. You can also use another textile with the same design in the room as well as trompe l’oeil or a floral one.
For your arts and crafts room, you might want to use a Mission or William Morris styled rug. You can also try using a faux tiger, zebra or leopard rug to give the room a bit of a wild side as well as an ethnic flavor. Other alternatives are coir or flat-woven sisal and dhurries. For rooms with Latin influences, sisal or coir area rugs are quite effective. A hand-woven geometric rug with striped designs and a nubby rug are some of the recommended suggestions.
The overall ambience given off by the whole room or area of the house is the primary thing to consider when choosing the appropriate area rugs. There’s always a rug to go with a fun, luxurious, natural, formal or casual room. When placing a rug in the office, make sure you use a very thin rug so that the wheels on the office chairs won’t get stuck.
Give your local mall a visit to look for the best area rugs you can use for your home. For a more wider search, you can also go online.
Visit Glenn Salazar’s new website to get the most valuable facts on large area rug, discover all about them and read about the best deals and discounts. If you want to read fresh news on large area rugs, this website is a place where you have to go.
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For home owners, planning to construct or remodel their kitchens in Brisbane region, there are many outstanding approaches of discovering out exactly how you are able to construct your dream kitchen. Usually, many of us make our designs from our creative imagination and design them on paper in order for other folks can get the concept of what we prefer. Much more often than not, it might be frustrating once we attempt to express what we really want however we can’t entirely illustrate the idea. With all the best and newest in technology, everyone can now discover plenty of distinct tools to aid them get ideas and inspirations for kitchen layouts. In place of making use of paper and pencil, you can actually now create your layout by using your personal computer and browser-based software.
Numerous of these free tools are available on-line. Several manufacturers for kitchens in Brisbane have an on-line planner that people can use for free. Browsing the web, one can perform a fast Google search and type “free kitchen design tool.” This will give up results depending on precisely what you’re trying to find for instance kitchen cabinetry, flooring, backsplashes, and so on. As soon as you’ve decided on your options, you can actually then have a look at several manufacturer’s website to find out if they’ve got what you need.
When wanting to construct your kitchen, try utilizing completely free kitchen design software just like interactive kitchen design tools. The application allows you to plan, design and create a virtual kitchen on the personal computer. Once you are completed, you are able to print out to show and discuss together with your designer or builder. It is also yet another great method for developing a kitchen design especially for home owners who prefer to make a statement in their kitchen design and style. Increasingly more environmental conscious home owners are now looking to use environmental friendly materials for their kitchen. You are able to now simply pick from several eco-friendly kitchen concepts and you can explore some of the alternative designs for your completely new or remodeled kitchen using these interactive tools. These kitchen planner tools are mainly browser-based. They’re also slow as they are dependent on graphics information via the web connection of the user.
Many of these tools perform in the same way that allows you to select the fundamental design and style you would probably prefer for your kitchen and even customize the size of your kitchen. Also you can decide on the location of the door and windows, cabinetry and the placement of your appliances.
In the event you design your completely new kitchen or wanting to redecorate your kitchen, you may use various reasonably priced home design tools that you might get obtainable in your area, maybe try to ask from a reliable designer of <a rel=”nofollow” onclick=”javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackPageview', '/outgoing/article_exit_link/4079012']);” href=”http://www.kitchensbrisbaneqld.com.au/”>kitchens in Brisbane</a>. Look at your local computer shop since these programs are also accessible in these stores and they could be downloaded as well. With the aid of kitchen design software, it is absolutely easy for any homeowner to develop pictures of your desire kitchen. Along with the advancements in technology, it is now achievable for anybody to carry out plans and details that typically, only architects can perform.
More information about <a rel=”nofollow” onclick=”javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackPageview', '/outgoing/article_exit_link/4079012']);” href=”http://www.kitchensbrisbaneqld.com.au/”>Kitchens Brisbane</a>, visit <a rel=”nofollow” onclick=”javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackPageview', '/outgoing/article_exit_link/4079012']);” href=”http://www.kitchensbrisbaneqld.com.au/”>www.kitchensbrisbaneqld.com.au</a>.Kitchens Brisbane provides you the latest and smartest techniques to design your kitchen the way you want it to be, perfection guaranteed.
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Article by westmore
Trends of buying a new home with new wiring, new carpets, new lightingetc. have become more appealing then buying the homes that have beenowned before. The new home construction trends have responded to thedemand of the clients and have started with the new trends of thecustom home designs in new home constructions. These designs are madein order to ease would-be-home owners to choose the home design theywant to build and personalize them according to certain specification.This home construction trend has also given rise to many of the customhome builders. You can see that the building boom is taking place throughout the SouthCarolina area. This boom can be noticed not only on the costal areasbut also in the middle section of the state which includes the inlandcities and towns. Building a home in South Carolina can be an easy taskif you already know whether you want a custom home or a model home.With the decision of the type of home that you are looking for you candecide the budget you want to work within.Home builders in South Carolina work and build homes in a variety of areas in SouthCarolina, so you should make sure that you go through the right builders who can best suit your needs. SC custom home builders have the key to successfully design and craft the custom homes matching with the needs and desires of the clients, the main goal of the home builders is to furnish your home in a way that it reflects your personality and lifestyle. With a good custom home builder your experience of home building will become one of a kind. Remodeling your kitchen, bathroom or landscape can be a very troubling experience unless you find the right expert home construction general contractors which can complete all the required jobs at the right price. Many of the home builders work with a variety of popular architects who can help you in many of the different styles of designing the ultimate residence like cottage style, cotemporary, Tuscan styles, craftsman bungalow, colonial revival, mission style, Mediterranean, Spanish colonial, pueblo revival, Tudor, modern and mid century ranch. Building a custom home can prove to be an irresistible process. All you need to do is find a full service design – build general contractor who is an expert in refurbishment, reformation and refashioning of the fine modern custom homes in the South Carolina region. Home construction general contractors undertake all the work from one window reconstruction to the large scale remodeling projects. They can provide you with the most knowledgeable and dependable services and excellent craftsmanship to give your home the desired look. These contractors are the specialists in creating a new home and can do the actual work for you. You work on a contract basis with the home construction company and they handle all the details of you home which would include all the work starting from the plans to the building to many of the finishing touches that may even require repairs of the damages caused in the future.
About the Author
Author bio – Westmoreland Group leading custom home builders in South Carolina specializes in custom home designs and constructing modern custom homes including remodeling projects. Find Helpful and informative article to know more.
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Article by Dominic Alberth
With the increasing popularity of kit homes in Australia, it is unavoidable that some people might form some misconceptions about it. In this article, let us go over some of the most common myths relating to prefabricated homes and see for yourself if these homes would fare better than conventional homes.
Myth #1: There are no clear standards with regards to kit homes.
In most parts of the Australia, kit homes are treated just like any conventional homes. This means they are still subject to the usual local building codes and regulations. An owner builder is required to build his kit home to meet local construction and housing standards, including keeping the home fireproof and wind resistant. In fact, there are kit home designs that are environmentally-friendly, adhering to highest standards of energy efficiency, insulation, and ventilation possible.
Myth #2: All kit homes are inexpensive to build.
Though most Australia kit homes offer significant savings in terms of materials, cost of labour, and other construction expenses, there are some instances that would negate this. These scenarios include making significant mistakes and errors in the building process, failure of the owner builder to follow the exact specifications of the design, or significant delays. This is one the of the reasons in which amateur owner builders are asked to hire contractors and other professionals to help build their kit homes, to make sure they can complete the project on time with little to no errors.
Myth #3: Kit homes look flimsy and are therefore, structurally weak.
This is one instance in which looks can be deceiving. Some prefabricated homes might be designed to look fragile but are actually strong enough to withstand extreme weather. This is especially true for kit homes with steel frames. Furthermore, an owner builder will expect kit homes to be flexible in terms of design.
Myth #4: Difficulty in obtaining finance.
Most mortgage lenders are already aware of the increasing trend of building kit homes and recognize that these homes offer a lot of advantages over conventional ones. Consequently, to meet the demands of this ever growing market, most lenders are already open to financing kit homes. In fact, kit homes also benefits the lenders in some aspect. The shorter time needed to construct it allows its owner builder to commence on its payments earlier, thus incurring lesser interest and posing lesser liability to the lenders. With the affordability of most kit homes, lenders can be assured of getting paid for the loan.
Myth #5: Kit homes depreciate in value faster than conventional homes.
For most kit homes with steel framings and sturdy materials, depreciation will not occur until several decades later. Consequently, it energy efficient features, good cyclone rating, and resistance to bush fire can even add to its relative value over time.
Myth #6: Most kit homes look the same.
Unlike conventional homes located in subdivisions, no kit homes actually look the same. With the use of more flexible and innovative materials, the designs options of Australia kit homes are actually countless. In fact, an owner builder can be as innovative and daring as he can be when it comes to designing the kit home that will showcase his lifestyle to the fullest.
About the Author
There are still several myths associated with kit homes that need to be debunked. In order for an owner builder to truly understand these structures, he can check out Kit Homes Australia
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